When we have our first lesbian relationship or not, navigating a queer relationship is very similar to any relationship. We can’t expect it to be always magical because we have partnered with the same sex. It can feel that way, especially in the beginning, but it...
Setting healthy boundaries and expectations is difficult for most people. Especially for those of us coming out later in life, it can be tricky to learn and more difficult to maintain. Many of us grew up in chaotic homes where we weren’t taught clear boundaries and...
I belong to a coming out later in life support group that is online. Invariably anyone who is married will introduce their story as “I am ________, I have been married to my best friend for X years, and he is such a “good guy.” Full disclosure when I...
The word “good: is one of those utilitarian words that can be a noun, adverb, or adjective. As a noun, it means “morally right.” It can also mean “a mysterious balance of good and evil” or “to benefit someone or something” as in, “She used her gardening skills for the...
Recently I met Yvonne Ford. She’s a late-in-life lesbian, and though born in the USA, she has lived in Germany for many years. We had a Zoom call in which we both talked about the work each of us does to support late-bloomers or people coming out...
Tonda McKay is a long time out lesbian, photographer and blogger who write about lesbian culture and history. I find it amusing that the “toaster oven” reference is still around after twenty-four years. It was a casual reference in a sitcom called Ellen, for the...
The last holiday I spent as the mom of a heteronormative family was in 2015, I really don’t remember it very well, most likely a typical holiday that happened every year. The following year was 2016 and at that time I knew my marriage of twenty-six years was...
MY FRIEND MIRIAM GRACE AND I HAVE WORKED WITH WOMEN COMING OUT LATER IN LIFE FOR THE LAST SEVERAL YEARS. THE FOLLOWING IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE TWO OF US THAT EXPLORES WHAT IT MEANS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CATALYST (THE WOMAN WHO OPENS UP OUR SEXUALITY FOR SOME OF...