WHAT IS LATER IN LIFE?
That is totally self-defined and I have worked with people as young as 25 and well over 70.
BEFORE
For some of us acknowledging our sexuality is a very difficult thing to do. Although I knew I was attracted to women in my younger years, I thought every straight woman had these feelings, and instead of acknowledging them I chose to both ignore and deny. It wasn’t until I was in my early 40’s and read a magazine article about the fluidity of women’s sexuality I was able to put words to my feelings and experiences. Over the course of 10 years, I tried to come out of the closet three different times. It wasn’t until I was ordained as a minister that I found the courage to let go of pieces of my life and embrace the person who I created to be and finally began to live authentically. You can read my story here.
DURING
The later coming out process can be challenging as it is a reordering of how we have viewed ourselves in the world. It often is a sharing of our identity with those with whom we have always sought approval: spouses, children, parents, family, and friends. It is a time of grief and loss, but conversely, it is also an experience of finding your family and perhaps falling in love with the gender that is correct for our emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. It is an experience of opposites. It is both difficult and easy, painful and healing, letting go and grabbing hold, bitter and so very sweet.
My partner Tonda and I.
AFTER
I am now several years out of the closet, much changed and healed by this experience. I moved from New England to Nashville, TN to live with my partner. My partner compares coming out (she has been out for 30 years) to crossing a very deep swift flowing river, that once we are in, we cannot go back and we have to keep going until we are on the other side. I am on the other side now and want to support the “newbies” and the “sort of newbies” as well as those who are just exploring their sexuality in the LGBTQ community. Confidentiality and privacy is imperative in my practice and either in one-on-one counseling or in a support group I promise to provide a safe place for YOU to be YOU.
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