Coming out is such a big deal for most of us that once we decide we want to live authentically and open that part of ourselves to others, we look most forward to having it over and done with so we can move on with our lives and beyond the stress of sharing something...
What is Cognitive Dissonance? In psychology, “The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. People tend to seek consistency in their attitudes and perceptions, so...
Coming out always involves opening up to new things, people, and community, but especially for those of us coming out later in life, it seems like there is so much to catch-up on. We’re misinformed or make assumptions or are told to be wary of certain people or...
Questioning your sexuality and coming out later in life can be overwhelming. Many of us have struggled, wondering where to start, how we didn’t know ourselves sooner, how to trust if what we’re feeling is real, if there are other women like us, and how to move through...
Of course you can come out as Bi later in life! There are so many misconceptions about bisexuality. It’s not an experimental identity, attention-seeking, a byproduct of a high sex drive, a phase, a sign of mental instability, or any number of other myths that...
I once met a woman who said she was fine with the LGBTQ community, but was sick of seeing Pride flags up around her neighborhood. She said that she didn’t want to know the details about people’s sex lives and who they were sleeping with. She entirely missed the...
Although living authentically is a huge source of joy and fulfillment, coming out is rarely an easy part of that and comes with its share of anxieties and fears. This is often compounded when you’re coming out later in life because you have established complex and...
There is no timeline for self-discovery and no end to development. As we grow older, we can come to understand a wide variety of things about ourselves that we hadn’t realized before or that have changed over time, often because we are growing more comfortable and...
I came out as a lesbian in 2016, after ten years of struggling with my sexual identity. I was married for a quarter of a century, mom of four kids, ordained minister, and firmly established in my career as a hospital chaplain. During that time did I think of my...
Tonda McKay is a long time out lesbian, photographer and blogger who write about lesbian culture and history. I find it amusing that the “toaster oven” reference is still around after twenty-four years. It was a casual reference in a sitcom called Ellen, for the...
WHAT IS LATER IN LIFE? That is totally self-defined and I have worked with people as young as 25 and well over 70. BEFORE For some of us acknowledging our sexuality is a very difficult thing to do. Although I knew I was attracted to...
Acknowledging our sexual orientation can be a long road for some of us. We dip our toe out of the closet and quickly withdraw it when this journey feels too difficult or scary to navigate. What I have learned in my years of individual and group coaching of women...