So you have figured out that you may not be as straight as you thought you were. Now what? Do you separate and divorce? Do you decide to live in a mixed-orientation marriage, when one partner is straight and the other is not? Or do you try to have your needs met and...
Everything seems overwhelming when we are first coming out. We are discovering so much about ourselves and how we fit into the world. At times it’s a very lonely journey. We don’t know if people will understand or if they will think we’ve made it up or are going...
Internalized Homophobia is when LGBTQIA+ people listen to negative messages about being gay – and believe them. While society has come a long way in accepting some members of the LGBTQIA+ family, negative messages about being not straight still persist. We...
By Tonda Mckay I have been out forever and five years ago I began dating a newly out woman. We were both in our early fifties. We all know there are a million ways to come out and all ages at which to take that first step. I tried one straight relationship...
When we have our first lesbian relationship or not, navigating a queer relationship is very similar to any relationship. We can’t expect it to be always magical because we have partnered with the same sex. It can feel that way, especially in the beginning, but it...
We all expect to have a lot of changes in our lives when we identify as teenagers and young adults. For some reason we expect the rest of our lives to have much more stability, but in actuality the old saying “change is the only constant in life” is true. ...
Coming out is such a big deal for most of us that once we decide we want to live authentically and open that part of ourselves to others, we look most forward to having it over and done with so we can move on with our lives and beyond the stress of sharing something...
What is Cognitive Dissonance? In psychology, “The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. People tend to seek consistency in their attitudes and perceptions, so...
Coming out always involves opening up to new things, people, and community, but especially for those of us coming out later in life, it seems like there is so much to catch-up on. We’re misinformed or make assumptions or are told to be wary of certain people or...
Questioning your sexuality and coming out later in life can be overwhelming. Many of us have struggled, wondering where to start, how we didn’t know ourselves sooner, how to trust if what we’re feeling is real, if there are other women like us, and how to move through...
I once met a woman who said she was fine with the LGBTQ community, but was sick of seeing Pride flags up around her neighborhood. She said that she didn’t want to know the details about people’s sex lives and who they were sleeping with. She entirely missed the...
Although living authentically is a huge source of joy and fulfillment, coming out is rarely an easy part of that and comes with its share of anxieties and fears. This is often compounded when you’re coming out later in life because you have established complex and...